“Playing It as It Lies: Life Lessons from a Golf Purist”

Ever since we traded a stationary address for full-time RV life, I have shanked, sliced, and three-putted my way through just about every style of golf imaginable.

I’ve battled the wind on links courses, hugged the trees on parkland tracks, and dallied in the thick brush of heathland golf. I’ve sweated through desert golf (praying my balls didn’t roll into a cactus), conquered sandbelt, stadium, and championship layouts (to include St Andrews in Scotland!), and – of course – still found plenty of time to humble myself on executive and par-3 courses.

And over the years, I’ve shared the fairways with every kind of golfer under the sun. You’ve got the cutthroat competitor, the guy calculating wind speed like he’s launching a NASA rocket, the slow-motion walker, the swing whisperer, the “creative accountant” on the scorecard, and the total newbie.

And then, of course, there is the “golf purist” – which brings me to the topic of today’s Reads from the Reds.

Recently, I joined my sister, Debby, for a round at her home course. (That’s us in this picture – I am the one on the left!)

Heading home after finishing our “drinks” on the 19th hole, I found myself thinking about my sister and the one phrase that describes her to a tee….

“Golf Purist.”

Now, I have never pretended to be a LPGA pro. In fact, it’s no secret I am a proud recreational golfer teeing it up from the reds.

However, watching Debby play has shown me that being a golf purist has very little to do with flashy equipment or tour-level status – and everything to do with how deeply you respect the game.

And the more I watch her play, the more I realize that the traits of a true golf purist aren’t just for the fairways – they are the same lessons that help me navigate everyday life.

To Debby, being a golf purist means honoring the traditions, rules, and spirit of the game every single time she steps onto the first tee.

There are no “foot wedges” or convenient mulligans when I am playing a round with her! She counts every single stroke (yes, even those pesky ones in the bunker!) because, as she ALWAYS says:

“An honest score is the only real way to measure your game”.

In life, just like in golf, I am often my own referee. Nobody is standing over my shoulder keeping score of my daily choices. Being a purist teaches me integrity – doing the right thing and owning up to my mistakes even when no one else is watching.

Playing alongside a purist like Debby also reminds me of the simple beauty of golf.

It is about fixing my ball marks, raking the traps, keeping pace with the group ahead, and showing genuine courtesy to everyone sharing the course. That translates directly to kindness and stewardship in the real world.

Leaving the course in better shape than I found it is no different than treating people with respect and leaving every place we visit on our RV travels a little better than when we arrived.

I guess it also means I don’t need the newest $600 driver to appreciate the game the way she does. For Debby, the magic is found in the pure challenge of playing the ball as it lies, reading the natural breaks of the green, and soaking in the fresh air and good company.

That might be the biggest life lesson of all: learning to play the ball as it lies.

I know life is going to hand me plenty of bad bounces, rough lies, and unexpected bunkers. I can’t always control where my shot lands, and I certainly can’t take a mulligan on life’s curveballs. Watching my sister stick to the true spirit of the game – accepting the tough breaks right alongside the good ones – is a wonderful reminder that grace, patience, and resilience matter far more than a perfect scorecard.

Even though I am not a golf purist like Debby, I can certainly take a page out of her playbook. When I honor the rules, respect the people around me, and handle life’s bad bounces with a smile, I am winning the game long before I ever reach the 18th green.

My Reads from the Reds: Being a golf purist isn’t just about how I play 18 holes – it’s about living with integrity, leaving things better than I found them, and learning to play life’s bad bounces right where they lie.

Fairways and Greens – We are 18 Holes and Counting!

Written by Kathy Festa