“Golf and Friendships”
August 31, 2021
My golf partner and I are pretty social people (he definitely more than me), which is why we enjoy golf so much – because GOLF IS A SOCIAL SPORT!
Like most of us, I have friends from all walks of life – government employees, military veterans, medical professionals, accountants and tax preparers, money market managers, full-time moms/dads, retirees, neighbor friends, childhood friends. Some are closer to me than others, naturally.
But the friends I have made through golf have a special bond, and so I wonder:
What is it about the game that breeds such strong friendship feelings?
It’s not an easy question to answer because my golf friends are so different from each other. Men and women, easygoing and intense, people with TRUMP 2024 stickers on their car and people who think he’s a Marxist troublemaker, churchgoers and atheists, millionaires and golfers who can’t afford to replace their 15-year-old driver. They form a museum of human variability.
Golf, it sometimes seems, is the only thing we have in common–but it’s enough.
Maybe the answer has something to do with the fact that golf is not a virtual activity. We are out in the air, away from texts, emails, status updates and tweets. I am not “friending” people. I am “truly present” to those I am playing a round of golf with. My golf friends see me wrestling with myself in plain view, sweating, looking foolish, dealing with injury, or age, competing or encouraging, trying, against great odds, to do something well.
It’s amazing, I smack a little white ball across a few miles of mowed turf and it shows me – and my playing partners – exactly how human we all are: flawed, full of hope, willing to push hard against the limits of our ability, ready to laugh, curse, weep, try and keep trying.
All the ingredients of true friendship.
Perhaps the answer to the golf-friendship question goes beyond humility and authenticity. I read somewhere – a Russian novel I am sure – that the people you love are the people you suffer with. OK, ok, I am not trying to overstate the travails of the great game. A bad round is not military combat, cancer or oral surgery, so “suffering” might be too strong a word.
But….at the same time, just about every golf outing includes moments of failure, disappointment, even heartbreak.
How we face those things speaks volumes about the creature we are underneath the mask of the personality.
But I have friends off the course too – those who don’t play the game (I know that seems wrong – right?) What is it that creates those friendships?
What bonds us?
My golfing partner and I recently attended a Recreational Vehicle (RV) rally. What is a RV rally you might ask? It’s a gathering of RV enthusiasts in one place at a given time. At the Luxe rally, we met up with old friends and made several new friends. Throughout the week-long event we attended seminars and learned new things about our RVs.
However it was at the daily 4:00 p.m. happy hour that we really got to know our fellow RVers. While sitting in our lawn chairs, sipping our beverage of choice, we shared stories, exchanged ideas and listened to one another. It was here that our bonds of friendship were solidified.
So I have been asking myself what is it that makes all those we meet become our friends? Is it our common interests – golf, motorcycles, bicycle riding, hiking, snow skiing, reading, ukulele, RV travels, or the love of the Lord – that connects our friendships and bring us together, or……
Is it the time we spend together?
It is amazing how much you can learn about another during a few hours of just spending time together. The more time you spend in a person’s company, the less one-dimensional they become.
My Reads from the Reds – Everyone wants to have friends – but you can’t have friends without making them, and making friends takes time.
Fairways and Greens – We are 18 Holes and Counting!
Written by Kathy Festa
We recently received the below note from our dear friend Jean Murdoch, who lives in Singapore. She gave us permission to post her note. Fairways and Greens Everyone!
“Hi Marc and Kathy
I read with interest your blog and enjoy it thoroughly. Here in Singapore C19 numbers are still rising inspite of strict living rules and regulations. I still am lucky enough to enjoy playing golf although courses in Singapore are very busy since no one can travel out to the beautiful courses surrounding Singapore. I agree entirely regarding your remarks about the special friendship bonds that come from sharing a round of golf with other people, sometimes even strangers at the beginning of the round who become friends by the end of the game. I have been playing golf for 50 years and tips and advice have come from friends throughout my lifetime. While enjoying a round with friends, I hear advice in my head from friends who have departed life and I feel the connection with them every time I play. When I play an approach shot , fairway or driver and even putting advice from my late husband! So you see golf friendships lasts a very long time and it makes me feel so good to think of their advice when the shot turns out good or a shake of the head when not!!! Their special bond friendship will never leave me and it feels so good. Continue Happy Days on the golf course and keep your blog coming.”