“Golf Misogi”

This life of full-time traveling in our RV continually provides a ton of opportunities to do memorable things. And playing golf as much as we can, is right near the top. But if I was forced to come up with what was the most memorable in the past 12 months, I would have to really give it some thought.

My first thought would be time with family and friends.

I know, that’s a bit cheesy but after living overseas for 30+ years and missing out on so many family and friend celebrations, and big events, it has me truly appreciating the opportunity this traveling lifestyle affords us to see our loved ones more often.

OK….now that I have stated the most obvious, let me think some more about this.

And you can think with me….come on….what’s one thing you did in the last 12 months that was memorable?

To help me with this, I find myself looking through my pictures on my phone. A big smile comes to my face when I am reminded of our golfing round in Wyoming, and our stop in Dubois to pay our respects to all those who gave the ultimate sacrifice for our freedom on Memorial Day last year.

Other golf memories would be my Hole-In-One! I am pretty sure that will be something I reflect on fondly for years to come.

My heart is full of joy when I think about the wonderful three months we spent with our friends and fellow RVers – Tina, Jeff, Rik, and Lida – in the Pacific Northwest. My pictures remind me of so many things we have done over the past 12 months.

And if I was honest, I have loved every single minute of our big beautiful adventure!

Why am I reflecting on my past year you might ask? Well, I recently heard Jesse Itzler talking about the concept of a misogi challenge on a podcast. For reference, Jesse is a successful entrepreneur and author. As he shared, “The notion around the misogi is you do something so hard one time a year that it has an impact the other 364 days of the year.”  He continued, “Put one big thing on the calendar that scares you, that you never thought you could do, and go out and do it.”  

And this is why I was thinking about the past year’s adventures – and why I have put the misogi challenge into the context of golf.

I don’t believe “golf misogi” has a specific, technical term or meaning. Instead, I see it often used metaphorically to describe a challenging or difficult golf experience, or goal that a golfer sets for themselves, drawing inspiration from the Japanese Shinto practice of ritual purification through hardship. 

Here’s how I use “misogi” when it comes to golf:

• Challenging Experience. A “misogi” in golf might be a particularly difficult course, a demanding round played in challenging weather, or a personal goal to significantly improve my score or game. 
• Personal Growth. This concept emphasizes the benefits of pushing myself outside of my comfort zone while playing a round to achieve personal growth and resilience, just as the traditional misogi ritual aims to do. 
• Goal Setting. I might choose a “misogi” as my annual golf goal, something that requires significant effort and dedication to achieve. 

In essence, a golfer’s “misogi” for me, is a personal challenge in golf that pushes me to grow and improve, often by embracing discomfort and hardship as part of my journey.

Here is where you might say: “OK fine, but nothing in golf tests us at this extreme level.”  You’re right. But Itzler explains how even small efforts of pushing back on our instinct toward comfort helps, whether it’s walking more than riding when playing a round, passing on a snack at the turn, or trying to ignore the rain falling on the back of your neck while you putt.

To put it another way – our version of discomfort in golf is often about a shot we don’t want to miss. The more we raise our tolerance for real discomfort, the easier even those shots will feel.

I tend to believe golfers rarely walk off the course satisfied, because we feel there are too many wasted shots and decisions we want back. But some days (perhaps more than I would like to acknowledge) merely completing 18 holes feels like an accomplishment.

By embracing the misogi principle in golf, I can experience a transformative challenge that builds mental and physical resilience, leading to enhanced performance and a greater appreciation for the game.

But what about embracing the misogi principle off the course?

If I apply Itzler’s thought of putting one big thing on my calendar that scares me, and go out and do it, what would it look like?

In other words – once a year I should do something memorable.

As I think back on my last 5 years, what memories can I attach to specific years? Can I pinpoint those moments where I stretched myself and allowed myself to get highly uncomfortable in order to grow? 

• 2019 – Climbed Mont Blanc
• 2020 – Learned to ride a motorcycle at 60 years old
• 2021 – Rode in my 1st RAGBRAI
• 2022 – Learned to drive a HDT (Heavy Duty Truck)
• 2023 – Swam with the Manatee
• 2024 – Skied a few black diamond runs in Paradiski, in the French Alps

Some epic things on that list – life events that defined each of those years in a big way! Some were physically demanding, and some were emotionally challenging. All of them scared me, and I learned amazing things about myself in the process of taking on each challenge.

Looking back on the list I created above, I was struck by how vividly I could remember the years where I did something bold. Climbing Mont Blonc is something I’ll never forget. I feel the same about the memories I have of marrying Marc and joining the Navy, learning to drive an HDT – Heavy Duty Truck with all the other “Truckers”., swimming with a Manatee, running in a “Tough Mudder” and a “Sparton Race”, and skiing in the French Alps. I vividly recall riding in my 1st RAGBRAI – it exhilarated me, and excited me, and it sparked a new enthusiasm in me! 

I love everything those experiences represent and all I learned about myself through each one.

Another topic Itzler talks about is the thinking that we live our lives making plans for the next ten years, and beyond that, twenty and thirty. It rarely occurs to us that those years aren’t promised and that even next year isn’t guaranteed. If we did have that mindset, that time is short and it is valuable, our approach would be different.

We wouldn’t waste time, and we wouldn’t keep saying, “Tomorrow.”

So here I am, trying to figure out what my misogi for this year will be. I haven’t answered that for myself yet, but here are three things that are helping guide my decision…

1. Misogi should push the limit. I’ve seen it said in multiple places that whatever my misogi goal is, there should be a 50/50 chance that I will succeed. It shouldn’t be easy enough that I can fully expect to be successful. I need to enter the misogi with a sense of adventure, knowing that I may fail. There needs to be some risk involved. The whole point is to stretch myself to tap into something I didn’t know for sure I was capable of. 
2. Misogi should scare me a little bit. Tied to pushing my limits, whatever I choose for my misogi should create a little bit of fear. It should make me uncomfortable, and the thought of it should rattle my nerves a bit.
3. Misogi is for me, not anyone else. The whole point of the misogi experience is to learn something about myself. The same as it was a traditional way to purify the mind and body in Japanese culture, which was very personal, the misogi challenge is an endeavor for me alone. Even if I do it alone, with someone else or a group, the experience is still very private.

Here’s a new addition to this Misogi Challenge concept, one I am just working through. If it’s possible to define my year with one big challenge, can I define my months with smaller mini-misogi challenges?  

I believe it is, and I am using this year to explore that as well.

My Reads From The Reds: We dance on the edge of failure so we can realize failure isn’t that big of a deal.

Fairways and Greens – We are 18 Holes and Counting

Written By: Kathy Festa